So feel like I’m falling behind a little. Plans not working out. Cold not helping. Wonder if I’m cut out for this climate and locality, or even I’m even staying true to myself.

It was lovely to chat to lots of diverse people yesterday, but especially old friends who as Tom Stock’s poetry says “Came from all corners, and I know I was loved” (I paraphrase)

That didn’t help me from having crippling self-realisation, resolve and then abandonment of said resolve. I know I’m reckless and I wonder if I’m enjoying my newfound recklessness a bit too much. Especially considering that this is the year I should point my soul towards betterment and self. I wonder why we as people do this? I wonder why I do this? Why am I obsessed to root out different people and places? Different conversations? Alternative areas of love and communication? But also old past arenas of growth, ripe for torturing re-evaluation?!

As you can tell I do not have any answers yet, though I hope to think on solving this problem of mine.