WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE BELOW Title: Who Gives a Fuck? (date: 10.04.15) Maybe we should fuckk each time, each fuckk as the last fuck instead of stretching out and planning a lifetime as/one of all fucks to cone*?? *come?? Also (re-)discovered on my phone couple of days ago. I texted myself this, as I was beginning to question [...]
Author: mkauser
Doctoral researcher looking into inter-connected lifeworlds and the continuation of inequalities. Those deep-seated, historical traumas and injustices that are woven more subtely here in the Imperial Metropole of the UK.
Days Drag On… What do I find on my phone?
Crazy long day - feel dead and drained and I'm in no way prepared for the mess that will be tomorrow. MA class (not done my reading!) then shifts in another store, as part of my new job! The need to keep balancing between love of learning and money to keep learning, is a hard [...]
Power in speaking
You speak, I speak and then we hear. As we wonder separately, Feigning we are freer. The line crackles, my arm stiffens, as I walk down these streets. Locate me in the here, I am stood where we were once to be so near. Sirens bleed by me, Reminding me that you are sat in [...]
The Slumbering Lover
My love sleeps eternally In another plane it lives, it breathes. How I hope he dreams of he and me. Conscious/Unconscious Free/Unfree Thoughts unthunk.. Forevers unfurled.. Gladness besets me To death we take our leave separately in vow of annual grief Approached in high manners As we took each eve. Friends together forever separately Now [...]
Couplet
If One lovest words, One must speak them at every turn. Re-found this while diving through my diary. Trying to build my discipline and post something, no matter how minuscule, every night.
Poem early morning’s prayer, pleas, wants and needs.
This came to me as I lay my head to sleep, around 3am, I've tried to keep it as close in structure as when I wrote it. I miss the sanity and free space we had, The easy negotiations. Sharing ourselves so easily it went unseen, And now we walk in phantom mists like unknowing, [...]
Default Man – Default Me?
So I've been debating since midnight whether or not to post this. I mean I'm trying to be disciplined and post something up everyday. If only to prove to myself that I can. But, at the same time I know I'm going to have to run a longer, further, probably even several articles to explain [...]
Existence
Today was a dark day. An oh so weary day. Without dwelling too much into this, today a huge amount of my past was chucked back into my face. As a sensitive person, who tries to empathise and rationalise (oxymoronic I know), I'm left at the end of this day still processing not just my [...]
Saddened Tears Unsurety
I allowed myself leave Felt pushed out But still grasped at the dream One that would be beneficial for more than just us maybe, perhaps, someday, one that'll lead Them to not cuss Now I'm rediscovering my old friend She silently screams internally at me Dry-heaving as she drowns in fucked up dreams Unsure of [...]
FYI:
I should say, after all this is to an audience, just by the mere fact that it is online, that I am at the moment going through a process of cathartic writing. Since I last did anything, (which was granted a hell of a while) I have moved back to my birthplace in Yorkshire. Living [...]
Mariam Kauser 